#5 Nerf Herder - "I've Got A Boner For Christmas"
all year you've been in a rut, this time let's do it in the butt
#4 Run DMC "Christmas in Hollis"
Took out the license and it cold said "Santa Claus"
A million dollars in it, cold hundreds of G's
Enough to buy a boat and matching car with ease
But I'd never steal from Santa, cause that ain't right
#3 Tom Waits "Christmas card from a hooker in Minneapolis"
And I wish I had all the money - That we used to spend on dope
#2 Black Crowes "Back door Santa"
I ain't like ol' St. Nick, he don't come but once a year
#1 Beck "Little Drum Machine Boy"
ejaculating like buffet tables and record labels
spin 'em around, play around, like a dreidel
kinda science that puts ya back into the cradle