26 March 2009

I can't dance, I can't sing

When did the Camden Yards public address announcer get loaned to Manchester United? Apparently Man U fans are enjoying sitting around Ol' Trafford, drinking Naty Boh's and talking about Sir Alex......

25 March 2009

round and round but just get it away from me

Another round of l-o-l-ing at a stripper's expense. Before you get all sympathetic and think it's a bit harsh to claim you have so many STD's to a broad you used to put stones to, remember who's wishing death on who - you fucking fruit cake. And she learned a valuable lesson from our last exchange: putting"an" in front of words that start with a vowel. It's a community service really, just like that trip to Mexico I took to teach underpriviledged children to read....or was it to watch the donkey show and have a unprotected three way sex with two mexican midget prostitute twins and drink 50 cent shots of tequilla? Either way, enjoy bitches:

19 March 2009

I have known you for so very long, I feel you like a friend

March 18, 1837, the same year that Michigan became the finest state in the union, the Organic Act of 1837 created the University of Michigan. The widely used seal for the University of Michigan shows a date of 1817, just to fuck with people, the University had previously been known as Catholepistemiad, or University of Michigania and was located in Detroit. In 1837 the name was officially changed to the University of Michigan and the school's main campus was moved to Ann Arbor. Since it's creation the university of Michigan has established itself as one of the finest institutions in the Country, known as "the Harvard of the West" although Harvard is more popularly referred to as "the Michigan of the East."

Notable Alumni Include:

President Gerald Ford
Google Co-founder Larry Page
James Earl Jones
Selma Blair
Lucy Liu
Dr. Jack Kevorkian
Ann Coulter
Mike Wallace
Ari Gold
116 Olympic Medalists
26 Rhodes Scholars
7 Nobel Prize Winners

52 NCAA National Championships

Oh yeah, and two all U of M NASA Crews: Gemini 4, & Apollo 15. Loosely translated, the latin phrase on the Michigan Seal, Artes Scientias Veritas, means space bitches....space.

14 March 2009

there must be some misunderstanding

Another edition of alcohol fueled text messaging. The following exchange is between yours truly and an adult entertainer that I dated last year. It includes several things that make me l-o-l including; references to city crippling natural disasters and led zeppelin songs, making it rain, poor broads that use pre-paid cell phones, and low t-cell counts. The majority of this comes straight from the mind of Celluloid Hero.
Enjoy Bitches:

04 March 2009

we wonder just what must they be thinking, to take a life of one so young

United States Army Corporal Matthew Commons
18 February 1981 - 4 March 2002

On March 4, 2002, Private First Class Matthew Allen Commons, was killed in Afghanistan on mission to rescue another U.S. soldier captured by al-Qaeda fighters.

Corporal Commons was the youngest of the seven American soldiers killed March 4, 2002, in the battle for Takur Ghar. Commons was on board one of two Chinook helicopters attempting to rescue Navy Seal Petty Officer 1st Class Neil Roberts who had fallen from another helicopter and been captured by three al-Qaeda fighters.
PFC Commons was posthumously promoted to Corporal and awarded the Bronze Star for Valor, the Meritorious Service Medal, and the Purple Heart.

02 March 2009

invisible touch

Other than being C-Webb's Birthday, March 1st is also the seventh aniversary of the start of Operation Anaconda. So I'll get to the depressing shit in a few days, for today the story of Canadian Sniper Corporal Rob Furlong. Try to look past the fact that Canadian Units are named after some gay shit, Corporal Furlong happened to belong to the third battalion of "Princess Patricia's Canadian Light Infantry". (Manly yes, but I like it too) Corporal Furlong was able to put aside the "Fighting Tampon" moniker and recorded the longest sniper kill in histort from a distance of 2,430 meters, or over 1.5 miles.
Enjoy Bitches.....

part II

01 March 2009

when they show it you stop and stare

Happy Birthday Chris Webber

(March 1, 1973)

National High School Player of the Year 1990, 1991
NCAA All American 1993
NCAA All Tournament First Team 1992, 1993
1993 #1 Overall NBA Draft Pick
5 Time NBA Allstar
1994 NBA Rookie of the Year
Space Bitches....Space