30 October 2009
26 October 2009
20 October 2009
"I know what you're thinking...you're thinking those are the biggest boobies you've ever seen. I'm not your average woman...I like sex and I'm not afraid to admit[cough, hack, cough]. Excuse me I just had pudding an hour ago. You ever parked your bicylce in an airplane hanger? You ever thrown a toothpick into a volcano? Ohh...I'm sweating. You're making me all hot! OHHHHHH CAKES & PIES!!!! "365 days, countless references to transvestite hookers, broads with low self esteem, getting hammered, my overall hatred of females, phil, morrissey, and of course space bitches...space!. Oh, and two posts each from this guy, and this guy...thanks for the help wankers. Happy first birthday to going down like a monkey.
19 October 2009
"When you consider what minimal contribution they make in helping people. They never under any circumstances make a useful statement about the world or people's lives. The whole thing seems like a joke, a hideous joke. We don't believe in leprachauns so why should we believe in the Queen? And when one looks at all the individuals within the Royal Family they're so magnificently, unaccountably and unpardonably boring! I mean Diana herself has never in her lifetime uttered one statement that has been of any use to any member of the human race. If we have to put up with these ugly individuals why can't they at least do something off the mark!" - 1986 interview with NMEMorrissey goes on to call Prince Charles a closeted transvestite ("I said Charles, don't you ever crave, to appear on the front of the Daily Mail, dressed in your Mother's bridal veil?"); recreating the famous Buckingham Palace invasion by Michael Fagan (So, I broke into the palace, with a sponge and a rusty spanner"); before discusing the adverse effect the rain has on his hair (We can go for a walk where it's quiet and dry, and talk about precious things, but the rain that flattens my hair, oh, these are the things that kill me).
18 October 2009
If you haven't seen Swingers, well....what the fuck are you waiting for? Definitely in my top 5 of all time, in a dead heat with High Fidelity for the number one spot. In honor of the thirteenth anniversary of the release of one of the greatest films of our generation, going down like a monkey presents:
the dating advice of Trent Walker (a top 5)
#5 - "Now I want you to go over to that girl and I want you to get those digits. Come here a second, listen. Now look it, when you go up to talk to her man, I don't want you to be the guy in the PG-13 movie, everyone's REALLY hoping makes it happen. I want you to be like the guy in the rated R movie, you know? The guy you're not sure whether or not you like yet. You're not sure where he's coming from, okay? You're a bad man, you're a bad man."
#4 - "You know what? Ha Ha Ha Mike, laugh all you want, but if you call too soon you might scare off a nice baby who's ready to party. [Favs: Well, how long you gonna wait to call your babies?] Six Days."
#3 - "Baby don't talk that way. [Patrick Van Horn: You're so money and you don't even know it] That's what I've keep trying to tell him. [Favs: Could you not mess with me right now] Baby we're not messing with you. You know what you are? You're like a big bear with claws and fangs. And fucking teeth on you. And she's just like this little bunny who's just kinda cowering in the corner. Yeah man, just kinda..you know you got these claws and you're staring at these claws man and you're thinking to yourself, with these claws you're thinking, 'how am I supposed to kill this bunny? How am I supposed to kill this bunny?" [PVH: And you're poking it] Yeah, you're not hurting it, you're just kinda gently batting the bunny around, you know what I mean? And the bunny is scared Mike, the bunny is scared of you. Shivering. You got these claws and these fangs man, and you're looking at your claws and you're looking at your fangs and you're thinking to yourself, 'I don't know what to do man, I don't know how to kill the bunny' with this you don't know how to kill the bunny. Do you know what I mean? [Favs: So you're not just like fucking with me?] No I'm not fucking with you. Mike, I'm telling you you're money.
#2 - "Look you take yourself out of the game, you start talking to them about puppy dogs and ice cream of course it's gonna end up on the friendship tip....Baby, you are so money and you don't even know it...Listen to me Mike, your self esteem is low right now because she's with somebody else. But talking about it and thinking about it all the time, it's depressing, it's no good man."
#1 - "Oh, Mike do you even think I know what the hell they're saying to me half the time? I don't know if they're talking about how hard it is to be adopted, or how their dad can't show them affection. All I do man is stare at their mouthes and wrinkle my eyebrows and somehow I turn out to be a big sweetie. Okay? Now take this girl here right? She's a waitress in Las Vegas ok? But I bet somewhere inside of her there's a very very special dream and no matter how hard I try I won't..."
16 October 2009
12 October 2009
I was talking with George [Morrissey's bodyguard] and he was saying that even when he was on the road with Motley Crue, when they were shifting millions of records and were the ultimate in hard-rock excess, that even then the fans didn't have anything like the intensity of the people that follow you.
"I wouldn't, for instance, imagine that George Michael does. Similarly with Madonna; I can't imagine anyone loving Madonna and wanting to get onstage, and hold her, and squeeze her, and not let go. She doesn't inspire that. She may sell millions upon millions of records - similarly with George Michael or Michael Jackson - but I don't know that people really, really love them in the way that I feel that I am loved by the people who come and see me. So, yes, it's baffling."- 1992 Interview with Spin MagazineDuring the 1992 promotion tour for Your Arsenal, Morrissey attracted a mob not seen since the British invasion of the Beatles years earlier. A midnight appearance at the vinyl solution (which makes me l-o-l, by the way) in Grand Rapids, Michigan attracted over 2,000 fans. President Bush was in Grand Rapids at the same time, however the media choose to cover Morrissey instead. 1,200 people turned up at Houston's Record Rack the next day, (no word on how many fans turned out at Chicago's Championship Vinyl), and hundreds turned out for a ten minute set on Hangin' with MTV in New York City, where he played 'certain people I know', for the final stop in the promotion tour.
09 October 2009
Nicknamed 'los catrachos' which in english means 'the hondurans' (clever huh?), the Honduran men's national soccer team played their first organized match in 1921 falling to their western neighbors Guatemala by a respectable score of 10-1. Tensions is Central America between Honduras and El Salvador came to a head in the summer of 1969, when rioting during a qualifying match for the 1970 World Cup sparked a 6 day war, dubbed the football war, in which over 2,100 were killed. Honduras failed to qualify for the 1970 World Cup in Mexico, while El Salvador was eliminated in the group stage losing to Mexico, Belgium, and the USSR, conceding 9 goals while scoring 0. Honduras' greatest result in tournament play came during the 1981 CONCACAF Championship where wins against Haiti, Cuba, and Canada, as well as draws with El Salvador and Mexico were enough for them to be crowned tournament champions. Honduras' only appearance in World Cup play was during 1982 where they failed to advance out of group play, posting two draws (Spain 1-1, Northern Ireland 1-1) and one loss (Yugoslavia 0-1).
The Catrachos play the majority of their home matches in San Pedro Sula. The nickname 'los catrachos' comes from Honduran General Florencio Xatruch. In the mid 1800's American expat William Walker was attempting to conquer all of Central America and re-establish slavery, after his defeat by Generla Xarruch, Nicaraguans yelled out ¡Vienen los xatruches!, meaning "Here come Xatruch's boys!" However, Nicaraguans had so much trouble pronouncing the general's last name that they altered the phrase to los catruches and ultimately settled on los catrachos. San Pedro Sula was originally settled in 1536 with the name Villa de San Pedro de Puerto Caballos. The city's name became San Pedro Sula in the 18th century, after several changes. The "Sula" part of its name comes from the Minas de Sula, gold mines located to the west of the village of Naco. Today, over one million residents call San Pedro Sula home, making it the countries second largest city behind the capital - Tegucigalpa.San Pedro Sula's Estadio Olímpico Metropolitano was built in 1997 when the city hosted the Central American Games. With a capacity of over 45,000 it is also the home grounds for C.D. Marathón as well as Real C.D. España.
head to head record
Over the years the United States and Honduras have faced each other fifteen times, with the US holding a commanding lead of 10 wins, 2 draws, and 3 losses, with a goal differential of +13, as well as a 3-1-1 record in World Cup Qualification. The US has only played four matches away to Honduras, their last a 2-1 US win in March of 2001. Overall the US is 2-1-1 in matches on Honduran soil. Most recently the US defeated Honduras 2-0 in the CONCACAF Gold Cup Semi-Finals (July 23rd) as well as during Gold Cup group play 2-0 (July 8th). The home leg for the US was June 6th at Chicago's Soldier Field, where the US won 2-1 (Landon Donovan and Carlos Bocanegra on the goals). Five current US players have scored against los Catrachos, with Donovan notching three, while Bocanegra, Brian Ching, and defenders Clarence Goodson and Oguchi Onyewu have all added one. Onyewu's scored his first national team goal against Honduras, a game-winner in the 92nd minute that sent the U.S. into the final of the 2005 CONCACAF Gold Cup against Panama. The most famous match between the two sides occured during U-23 Olympics Qualifying match in 2008 when American Tiffany May decided a semi-naked pitch invasion was necessary during the 77th minute. The US U-23 side went on to win 1-0.
Reinaldo Rueda has managed Honduras since 2006. Born in Medellín, Columbia, Rueda's claim to fame was from his job as the Colombian Youth Coach. With the Colombian U-20 squad he finished 3rd in the U-20 World Cup in 2003. He also lead the Colombian U-17 team to a fourth place finish that same year. After a disastrous start to qualifying Colombia promoted him to being the Senior Coach for the qualification to 2006 World Cup. The team was supposed to be near last spot on the CONMEBOL qualification but finished in a respectable sixth place. Colombia failed to qualify by only 1 point, and the blame was placed on Rueda even though Colombia had only one point through five games when he took charge. As coach of the Hondurans since 2006 he took a team missing most of it's stars to the quarterfinals of the 2007 CONCACAF Gold Cup as well as a semifinal appearance in 2009.
Honduras is captained by Toronto FC midfielder Amado 'el lobo' Guevara. Guevara is the all time cap leader for the catrachos netting 29 goals in his 128 appearances, also being named tournament MVP in the Hondurans third place finish at the 2001 Copa America. Over the course of 17 year career he's started for Olimpia, Saprissa, Motagua, the NY RedBulls, and Chivas USA among others. Guevara is joined in midfield by Ramón Núñez formerly of FC Dallas, and currently playing at Cruz Azul. Former LA Galaxy striker Carlos Pavón, Benefica forward David Suazo, as well as Carlo Costly of Birmingham City lead their attack. Wigan Athletic teammates Maynor Figueroa and Hendry Thomas, as well as spurs midfielder Wilson Palacios round out the premiership talent, but sadly no current or former Millwall players will be on the 18 man game day roster.
Ricardo Clark became the USA's 15th different scorer in 2010 World Cup Qualifying when he netted the game winner on Sept. 9 in Trinidad & Tobago. Frankie Hejduk's (1) goal against Trinidad & Tobago joined Carlos Bocanegra (2) and Oguchi Onyewu (1) as the other defenders to score in qualifying. Jozy Altidore leads all scorers (6), with Clint Dempsey (5) right behind him. Michael Bradley (4), Brian Ching (4) and Landon Donovan (4) have found the net with some frequency, while Charlie Davies (2) and DaMarcus Beasley (2) have also registered multiple goals. Also on the score sheet with one goal each are Freddy Adu, Kenny Cooper, Eddie Johnson and Eddie Lewis. Should be an interesting match on Saturday with Honduras needing points to keep their World Cup chances alive, while the US will look to claim their sixth consecutive appearance in the big dance.
Prediction US 2 : 1 Honduras (goals from Donovan & Davies)
05 October 2009
The Smiths made their first trip to the US in December of 1983. Morrissey was happy to hear that the band would be staying at the Iroquois Hotel in Manhattan for their new years eve show at the Danceteria. The Iroquois hotel had been home to one of Morrissey's idols, James Dean, for two years in the early 1950's, however the band found the hotel in decay and infested with cockroaches upon their arrival. During the New Years eve performance, unable to sleep in his slum of a hotel room, and feeling the effects of jet-lag, and malnourished, Morrissey famously fell off the stage. That combined with Mike Joyce contracting the chicken pox, led to the smiths cancelling the remaining New York City date and heading back to the UK, not before Marr and Morrissey wrote Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now in their hotel room.
Morrissey would later say, "When I wrote an ineffectual line such as 'I was looking for a job, and then I found a job, and heaven knows I'm miserable now', that outraged people. All the daily tabloids treat me as a dangerous figure and that pleases me. At least it means that I'm a strong person and I'm not Andrew Ridgeley."
Who doesn't love a good Wham! reference?
"On the very brief spasms of employment that I had in the past, it always seemed to me that there were moments of the day when I'd realise I was working with these people that I despised. I had to talk to these horrible people about what they did yesterday and I would have to report to a boss that I couldn't stand. When you're in that position, which was the absolute basis of 'Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now', you realise that you're actually spending your entire life living with people you do not like and doing something you do not like, which is incredibly distressing. So that was the basis of the song."
04 October 2009
What is it about Russian women that makes them so hot? Their love of communism? Their addicition to all things vodka related? What I wouldn't give to have them say, "fuck your yankee blue jeans". In honor of the lovely Lena Katina's 25th birthday today, going down like a monkey presents:
top 5 hottest russian broads:
#5 Alina Kabayeva Алина Маратовна Кабаева
Current State Duma deputee from the Party of United Russia, and former Olympic Gymnast. Also rumored to be the resaon Vladimir Putin left his wife.
#4 Daria Strokous Дария Strokous
18 year old model who's not afraid to take off the kit.
#3 Maria Sharapova Мария Юрьевна Шарапова
Hot Russian model, also plays some tennis.
#2 Sofia Rudieva София Андреевна Рудьева
At age eighteen was crowned Miss Russia 2009 days before nude photos of her flooded the internet.
#1 Lena Katina - Елена Сергеевна Катина
The only thing hotter than being in a Russian psuedo-lesbian girl pop band, is that Russian psuedo-lesbian girl pop band covering the smiths How Soon is Now