30 November 2009

the irish world cup travesty continues

Much has been made of the controversial way in which the Irish were denied a spot in this summer's world cup final. And while I won't be shedding a tear over the fact that the traitorous scum tandem of Shay Given (33 years old) and own goal scoring cunt Damien Duff (30 years of age) lost their final opportunity to play in the world cup (that's what you get for jumping ship at newcastle you fucking tossers), what sadly will be lost are tales like this from Jason McAteer:

"and to be fair she was a fuckin' winner, an absolute winner"

mozzer monday - my life with morrissey

morrissey, mozzer, jon stewart for president
I'm not sure whether or I want to fight this broad? Or marry her? Apparently there is a full length movie that goes along with this trailer. Either way the scene where she tells Morrissey he's so wonderful and he says, 'I know' made me l-o-l. That's just mozzer being mozzer. Enjoy bitches:

27 November 2009

castles made of sand fall in the sea...eventually

jimi hendrix, guitar burn
James Marshall "Jimi" Hendrix
November 27, 1942 - September 18, 1970

"Before the show at Monterey, we were starting to talk about the running order. More for Brian Jones who was introducing us I think, and Eric Burden who was introducing him, or vice versa I can't remember anymore, and they wanted to know what was going to come first and we couldn't really decide. So we just said well you know, I said to Jimi I said 'fuck it we're not gonna follow you on'. So he said 'well I'm not gonna follow you on.' So I said listen 'we are not gonna follow you on, and that is it. As far as I'm concerned, you know, we're here ready to go on now our gear is gonna be there, that's the end of it.' And there was a certain look up in his eye and he got on a chair and he played some amazing guitar just standing on a chair in the dressing room. Janis Joplin was there. Brian Jones. Eric [Clapton] and me and just a few other people standing around and he got down off the chair and just said, turned around, to me and said, 'If I'm gonna follow you - I'm gonna pull all the stops.'" - Pete Townshend

Legend has it a coin was flipped and Jimi Hendrix took the stage after the Who and staying true to his promise of pulling all the stops lit his Fender Stratocaster ablaze upon the conclusion of Wild Thing at the 1967 Monterey Pop Fest. And who took the stage after Jimi? The god damn Mama's and the Papa's. When asked about using gimmicks in his sets like playing behind his head, playing guitar with his teeth, and setting his guitar on fire, Hendrix offered a very Rick James esque explanation:
"Gimmicks. Gimmicks, here we go again, gimmicks man, I'm tired of people saying we're.... gimmicks, what is this? The world is nothing but a big gimmick, isn't it? Wars, napalm bombs, all that, people getting burned up on tv and it's nothing but a stunt. Gimmicks? Yes we do.”
jimi hendrix

top 5 jimi hendrix songs
red house

castles made of sand

purple haze

little wing

crosstown traffic

phil friday - what these bitches want from phil collins?

OG Phil Collins featuring DMX and his mans and them. Can't stop. Won't stop.

25 November 2009

ben olsen hangs up the boots

ben olsen, mls cup, dc united1994 Pennsylvania Player of the Year
1995 Parade Magazine's National Player of the Year
1997 Soccer America Player of the Year
1997 ACC Tournament MVP
1997 NSCAA All-American
1997 Soccer America Collegiate Player of the Year
1998 MLS Rookie of the Year
1998 MLS All-Star
1999 MLS Cup MVP
2007 MLS Best XI
And of course there's this for the ladies....

ben olsen, heart of a lion, la barra brava, screaming eagles, dc united
Thanks to Ben Olsen for 12 amazing years with the black and red. 221 appearances for DC United, 2 MLS Cups, 3 Supporter Shields, 1998 Copa Interamericana Championship, 1998 CONCACAF Champions League Championship, 2008 US Open Cup. 6 goals in 37 appearances with the US Mens National Team including the 2000 Olympics, and the 2006 World Cup as well as winning the 2005 CONCACAF Gold Cup Championship. Be sure to check out the top 5 Benny momments from earlier this year.

ben olsen, usmnt, us mens national team

23 November 2009

mozzer monday - let me kiss you

"American society would consider her to be royalty. I don't see her as royalty, I mean I just see her as Nancy really. I think in the history books her father is one of the most famous people in human creation, he's more famous than most royalty." - Morrissey on Nancy Sinatra
In 1997 Morrissey left the United Kingdom and took up refuge in Los Angeles, just off Sunset Blvd. Living in a home that was built for Clark Gable's mistress Carol Lombard, who died tragically in a plane crash almost as soon as she was given the keys to the home. The home was once owned by F. Scott Fitzgerald, John Schlesinger, and currently sits right next door to Nancy Sinatra.
"One time I was in London and Morrissey came to my hotel to see me and the thing that sticks with me most about that is the hug that he gave me. Because, he's just a great hugger." - Nancy Sinatra on Morrissey
In 2004 both Morrissey and Nancy Sinatra (on Morrissey's vanity record label Attack Records) released Let Me Kiss you. Morrissey's version would reach #4 on the UK charts while Nancy's version peaked at #46.

20 November 2009

every now and then i get a little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by

Sad news out of DC United today. Flags at goingdownlikeamonkey's world headquarters will be flying at half mast until further notice. Tomorrow's staff meeting in conference room 12a will be postponed so that you may spend this time with your loved ones. Only Tori Amos covering 'total eclipse of the heart' can provide comfort now:

16 November 2009

mozzer monday - stop me if you think you've heard this one before

morrissey, mozzer
Much to Morrissey's dismay, 'stop me...' was never released as a single, it was set to be released a mere two months after Michael Ryan killed 17 and wounded 15 in the Hungerford massacre in August of 1987. Morrissey's claim that the beating he'd endured caused enough pain to make a buddhist plan a mass murder (And the pain was enough to make, a shy, bald, buddhist reflect, and plan a mass murder) immedediately led record execs to think that he was eulogising a spree-killer. Morrissey would later say, "I desperately, desperately wanted that to be released, Rough Trade sent white labels along to Radio 1, but they said they would never, under any circumstances play it because of the line about mass murder. They said people would've instantly linked it with Hungerford and it would've caused thousands of shoppers to go out and buy machine guns and murder their grandparents."

And , so I drank one
It became four
And when I fell on the floor ...
...I drank more

03 November 2009

get your democracy on bitches

The 2009 MLS regular season has come to an end and it's time to bring that sweet ass over here and vote for the at&t goalazo of the year. A few observations: Was this video edited by the front office of the seattle sounders? Of the 40 goals featured in the video, 8 (or 20%) are of the sounders. Aside from two or three the remainder are pretty goddamn unspectacular. Also, Arturo Alvarez, I know you were excited to score a meaningless goal to put your team up 2-0 in the final minutes of the match, but is it really necessary to take your fucking shirt off? I take that back, it takes less than that to get me to rip my shirt off. For me the choice is between Namoff's diving header against Colorado in week 18, or Esky's volley against the redbulls also in week 18.

02 November 2009

mozzer monday - november spawned a monster

so sleep and dream of love
cause it's the closest
you will get to love

People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery and loss.

"...then there's 'November' (Spawned A Monster) which in a sense is my version of the New York Dolls' 'Frankenstein'. It's about a person who's confined to a wheelchair, who can't make much sense of her life and whose only ambition is to walk down the road in clothes she personally went out and chose and bought herself. And that is as far as her ambitions can stretch." - Morrissey, The Face, March 1990

" No, if you're a genuine artist you have a very powerful... oh God... vision of most situations, whether or not they're painful, as in my case they most often are. I don't have to know people. It's a matter of understanding many extreme situations in life. And if you see someone in what we oddly refer to as an unfortunate situation, someone who's wheelchair bound, if you're very perceptive and sensitive you can fully imagine the lifelong frustrations of constantly being discussed by other people, and constantly having people being irritatingly kind to you. " - Morrissey, Vox, November 1990

Featured on Beavis and Butthead, the music video is perhaps one of the most homo-erotic ever produced which, for Morrissey, is saying a lot.