31 March 2010

ten years man....ten.

March 31st, 2000. A day that changed my life forever! The release of the greatest motion picture to ever hit the silver screen. Since that day, I've watched it, with out exageration, at least three hundred times. I went so far as to keep an extra copy of it in my desk at work just in case I ran into an unfortunate soul who hadn't yet seen it. Unfortunately, that copy as well as my US Men's national team jersey, two suits, and countless cd's fell victim to a break up and will never be heard from again. That being said, I can tell you almost everything from the film, right down to the previews (Mission to Mars, Scream3, and Deuce Bigelow) that run before it starts. The film is from Nick Hornby's novel of the same name, and if you haven't read the book, you're missing out too. In addition to inspiring parts of this blog, there's been High Fidelity the broadway play, as well as Donwill's rap album: Don Cusack in High Fidelity. It would be hard for me to name my favorite scene, as that's subject to change based on my mood, or more accurately how much I've had to drink...so I'll say here is ONE of my favorite parts. And also, subquestions, are the best of all the questions. Enjoy bitches:

29 March 2010

mozzer monday - it's not your birthday anymore

It's not your birthday anymore
did you really think we meant
all those syrupy, sentimental
things that we said yesterday?

Thank god that shit's over with. Best birthday wish came from Jefferson Steercock, who simply said 'fuck you'. That meant a lot.

22 March 2010

mozzer monday - unhappy birthday

morrissey, birthday, unhappy birthday"There's nothing different about me. I'm just another bored male, approaching 30, in a dead-end job, who lives for the weekend. Casual sex, watered-down lager, heavily cut drugs. And occasionally kicking the fuck out of someone."

For someone that loves to make it all about me, March 24th is the one day of the year I wish everyone would just fucking ignore. So if you're looking for me on Wednesday, I'll be sitting in a dark room somewhere, enjoying the sound of the Smiths and the taste of the cold barrel of a desert eagle .50. Oh, and it doesn't say replica down the side of it either. Now....fuck off.

19 March 2010

crystal palace fc - can't stop won't stop

Championship side Crystal Palace were recently docked 10 points for filing for bankruptcy, dropping them from 48 points to 38, and now in the danger zone for relegation to League One for next season. CPFC are no stranger to relegation, having bounced between the Premiership and Championship some four times since being a founding member of the Premiership in '92. With the club in financial turmoil, officials have advertised the London side for sale. Help is on the way though as it's rumored that none other than Sean 'P-Diddy' Combs is interested in purchasing the club. I'm not sure what part of that article is more disturbing; the fact that he wants to buy Palace because he "likes the name", or that it reports the no talent hack, pretend gangster is worth a reported £360million ($550 million USD).

phil friday - led zeppelin?

phil collins, rolling stoneOn July 13, 1985 Live Aid took place in both London and Philidelphia. Who was the one artist that played both shows? You guessed it, Philip David Charles Collins. After playing his set at Wembley Stadium, Phil jumped on the concorde and flew to the states to join Jimmy Page, Robert Plant, and John Paul Jones on stage at Philidelphia's JFK Field. So in honor of led zeppelin super fan Celluloid Hero's b-day tomorrow, enjoy the low quality video of the lack luster 'reunion':

16 March 2010

top 5 goal celebrations

Kiss the ring? Lame. Dogpile your teammates? Overplayed Punch the corner flag? Done before. Drop your pants? That one actually makes me laugh. Give a fascist salute to your neo-nazi fans? That one's been done before too. With this summer's world cup a mere 86 short days away, and the start of the MLS season March 25th....maybe here's a look at the top 5 goal celebrations judged by yours truly.

#5 - Peter Crouch
1996, 6 foot 7 inch Peter Crouch scored England's second goal against Hungary and proceeded to set goal scoring celebrations back decades.

#4 - Jurgen Klinsmann
Klinsmann had a history of diving, long before his arrival at White Hart Lane in 1994. He famously asked in his first press conference 'if there were any diving schools in London'. After scoring against Sheffield Wednesday he pioneered 'the dive' which has been imitated ever since.

#3 - Clint Dempsey
Who could forget the Duece's goal and cha-cha celebration versus Ghana in 2006? It should be easy to recall as it was the only goal scored by a US player in the 2006 World Cup. Top notch finish, world class cha-cha.

#2 - Robbie Fowler
In April of 1999 Fowler celebrated his strike against Everton, whose fans had long alleged Fowler had a drug habit, by simulating doing a line of blow on the Anfield Touchline. For his celebration Fowler was suspended four league matches and fined £60,000, that's the equivalent of 41 kilos of coke for those keeping score at home.

#1 - Alan Shearer
Vince Lombardi said it best, "Act like you've been there before". Safe to say with 283 goals in 559 premiership appearances, AS9 has definitely been there before.

honorable mention - getafe cf
Flipping your shirt over your head has been a long standing celebration, but Burger King, sponsor of la liga side Getafe, has taken it to the next level. Printed on the inside of their kits is the head of what may be the creepiest corporate mascot in the history of corporate mascots. Celebrate with the King bitches. Our footie is shit, but our jerseys are top notch.

08 March 2010

mozzer monday - redondo beach

Quite a few of Morrissey's singles have been covers, and Redondo Beach is far and away my favorite. Patti Smith originally released Redondo Beach in 1975 on her album Horses. When introducing the song Smith used to say "Redondo Beach is a beach where women love other women" and who doesn't like that? The song goes on to tell the tale of a lesbian couple who get in an argument and one of the broads ends up going down to the beach and killing herself.

Desk clerk told me
A girl is washed up
Was small, an angel
With apple blond hair now

Which leads me to the time I went to Dewey beach with this broad I was dating, who just so happened to be blond. Low and behold, since she had a history of being a psychotic freak, ended up starting a huge fight with me over god knows what. If only she'd have listened to this song maybe she too would have drowned herself and I wouldn't have had to listen to her bitch, moan, and complain the entire seven hour ride back through Memorial Day traffic.

04 March 2010

gone but not forgotten

United States Army Corporal Matthew Commons
18 February 1981 - 4 March 2002

On March 4, 2002, Private First Class Matthew Allen Commons, was killed in Afghanistan on mission to rescue another U.S. soldier captured by al-Qaeda fighters.
Corporal Commons was the youngest of the seven American soldiers killed March 4, 2002, in the battle for Takur Ghar. Commons was on board one of two Chinook helicopters attempting to rescue Navy Seal Petty Officer 1st Class Neil Roberts who had fallen from another helicopter and been captured by three al-Qaeda fighters.
PFC Commons was posthumously promoted to Corporal and awarded the Bronze Star for Valor, the Meritorious Service Medal, and the Purple Heart.

Washington Post Feature
American Profile Article
Life Magazine
1/75 Ranger Memorial Page

01 March 2010

mozzer monday - i'm ok by myself

morrissey, mozzer, west hamIt shouldn't come as any surprise that the man when asked about his death, To whom would you whisper your last goodbye? replied "To my very best friend...myself" would pen a song entitled 'I'm Ok By Myself'. Should you ever find yourself laying around your apartment reading 'don't jump books', drinking ketel one straight out of the bottle, thumbing through the yellow pages for escorts, and having a good cry that lasts for days - this song should do the trick (if only Morrissey had released this in 2004). Take solace in the line "this might make you throw up in your bed; I'm ok by myself" and then stop being such a whiny little bitch, because i don't need you - and i never have, i never have.