31 March 2010
29 March 2010
did you really think we meant
all those syrupy, sentimental
things that we said yesterday?
Thank god that shit's over with. Best birthday wish came from Jefferson Steercock, who simply said 'fuck you'. That meant a lot.
22 March 2010
For someone that loves to make it all about me, March 24th is the one day of the year I wish everyone would just fucking ignore. So if you're looking for me on Wednesday, I'll be sitting in a dark room somewhere, enjoying the sound of the Smiths and the taste of the cold barrel of a desert eagle .50. Oh, and it doesn't say replica down the side of it either. Now....fuck off.
19 March 2010
16 March 2010
Kiss the ring? Lame. Dogpile your teammates? Overplayed Punch the corner flag? Done before. Drop your pants? That one actually makes me laugh. Give a fascist salute to your neo-nazi fans? That one's been done before too. With this summer's world cup a mere 86 short days away, and the start of the MLS season March 25th....maybe here's a look at the top 5 goal celebrations judged by yours truly.
#5 - Peter Crouch
1996, 6 foot 7 inch Peter Crouch scored England's second goal against Hungary and proceeded to set goal scoring celebrations back decades.
#4 - Jurgen Klinsmann
Klinsmann had a history of diving, long before his arrival at White Hart Lane in 1994. He famously asked in his first press conference 'if there were any diving schools in London'. After scoring against Sheffield Wednesday he pioneered 'the dive' which has been imitated ever since.
#3 - Clint Dempsey
Who could forget the Duece's goal and cha-cha celebration versus Ghana in 2006? It should be easy to recall as it was the only goal scored by a US player in the 2006 World Cup. Top notch finish, world class cha-cha.
#2 - Robbie Fowler
In April of 1999 Fowler celebrated his strike against Everton, whose fans had long alleged Fowler had a drug habit, by simulating doing a line of blow on the Anfield Touchline. For his celebration Fowler was suspended four league matches and fined £60,000, that's the equivalent of 41 kilos of coke for those keeping score at home.
#1 - Alan Shearer
Vince Lombardi said it best, "Act like you've been there before". Safe to say with 283 goals in 559 premiership appearances, AS9 has definitely been there before.
honorable mention - getafe cf
Flipping your shirt over your head has been a long standing celebration, but Burger King, sponsor of la liga side Getafe, has taken it to the next level. Printed on the inside of their kits is the head of what may be the creepiest corporate mascot in the history of corporate mascots. Celebrate with the King bitches. Our footie is shit, but our jerseys are top notch.
08 March 2010
Desk clerk told me
A girl is washed up
Was small, an angel
With apple blond hair now
Which leads me to the time I went to Dewey beach with this broad I was dating, who just so happened to be blond. Low and behold, since she had a history of being a psychotic freak, ended up starting a huge fight with me over god knows what. If only she'd have listened to this song maybe she too would have drowned herself and I wouldn't have had to listen to her bitch, moan, and complain the entire seven hour ride back through Memorial Day traffic.
04 March 2010
18 February 1981 - 4 March 2002
On March 4, 2002, Private First Class Matthew Allen Commons, was killed in Afghanistan on mission to rescue another U.S. soldier captured by al-Qaeda fighters.
Washington Post Feature
American Profile Article
1/75 Ranger Memorial Page