20 August 2010

there's a name for being this pathetic...and it's kevin

My favorite part of the iPhone is the fact that you can pretty much save every text message you've ever sent. Aside from being a plethora of incriminating evidence, it does provide the occasional laugh, like when you find a text message that says "there is no way this is the broad that likes her asshole eaten" with absolutely no context. I had planned on going through the past three years of text messaging and doing a top 5 list, however, whatever may or may not be stored on my phone pales in comparison to the gem that was bestowed upon me last night. I'll be the first to say, I've done some pathetic shit in my life. Has it been as pathetic as this? No. Well, no with an asterisk. There is the possibility that among the many memories that I have suppressed there is a situation that occurred in which I was this pathetic; but if that is in fact true, I don't remember it, so, therefore, it never happened. I'm pretty confident that I've never begged for sex. Pretty certain. And I'm fairly certain that if I was inclined to beg for sex, it wouldn't be via text message. (Here's a quick tip - never leave a paper trail.) And if a certain situation occurred in which I was a little, let's say - over eager, and had a 'misfire' you would never, ever in a million years, get me to admit to it. And finally, never include both your first and last name on something this pitiful. It's like when Mikey is leaving his sixth message for Nikki, and then decides to throw in....'this is Mike'. Funny? Yes. Unnecessary? You bet. That being said, enjoy what has to be the most pathetic three text message in the history of text messaging:


Diana said...

Best.texts.ever. It's a wonder this Kevin guy is still single.

Blogger said...

You might be qualified to get a Apple iPhone 7.