24 September 2010

phil friday - phil collins would rather you not send him your awful lyrics

I have not been able to give your lyrics the time they deserve. Can I suggest that you use your song writing ability to provide you with an emotional outlet and keep it as a hobby? This would save you months of getting the run-around from publishers, etc.

I can't recall how I came across this letter, however it is a classic. It also saved me from paying the postage on the notebook of songs I've been writting in the hopes of one day having my life imortalized through the dulcet tones and drum solo of Philip Collins.

16 September 2010

and i'm sure our relationship would be a real home run...

"In a lot of ways, YES, I do love him. But that is not a love letter in the way that you're thinking of it. Ok? There's nothing sexual."
The return of it's Always Sunny. Far and away the best show on television. In honor of the show's triumphant return, I'll be writing letters to my top five man crushes.

#5 - George Clooney
This was the toughest one for me to decide on. It was a toss up between Clooney and The Stath. Clearly there is the fact that I wish I was British, however, Clooney's full head of hair beats Statham's baldness ten times out of ten. No matter how many times he rolls around shirtless in motor oil, one simple fact always prevails: hair > no hair. And I suppose you can't have an argument and say that George Clooney is more attractive than most women and not include him in my list of man crushes.

#4 - Tom Brady
Long before he was TB12 - crashing his Audi where ever he damn well pleased, breaking up with 10's to date 12's, and even captain of your Midland Barnburners, he was the dreamiest dreamboat to ever take the field in Ann Arbor.

#3 - José Mourinho
The Special One, so special I'm willing to overlook the fact that he's coaching Real Madrid. If he ever opts to coach Man U, he will no longer be appearing in this list.

#2 - John Cusack
The original Rob Gordon. Although, he does every man who is not him a giant disservice making movies like Say Anything, and Serendipity, giving women the unrealistic expectation that Lloyd Dobler and Jonathan Trager type men actually exist in real life. How are we supposed to get laid when he's out there making these movies?

#1 - Morrissey
(was there any doubt)

03 September 2010

phil friday - dr. phil collins

Who do you turn to when you need help crafting a break-up song? It's safe to say that few have experienced the turmoil of failed relationships more than Phil. His three marriages and subsequent divorce settlements have cost him nearly £42 million. But was all that heart ache, pain, and check writing for naught? According to Phil - No. In fact he credits his first divorce for the direction his solo career took which according to phil would have been jazz-rock focused had his relationship with Andrea Bertorelli not ended. The first song inspired by his divorce was the epic, Against All Odds. And who among us hasn't dropped a girlfriend off at the airport and spent the entire drive home sobbing like a little girl with a skinned knee and listening to that song on repeat? Anyways...I stumbled upon this radio show last week, and although it's a few years old, it's worth a listen.
After a bad break-up, Starlee Kine finds so much comfort in break-up songs that she tries to write one herself, and gets help from Phil Collins.
It wasn't until hearing the host and Phil both describe their breakups that I came to a startling revelation. My favorite part of any relationship, ever, has always been the end. My favorite part is the breakup. What's better than the self loathing feeling you get after a really bad heart break? Nothing makes me feel more alive than listening to Air Supply's All Out of Love, Against All Odds, Will Never Marry, followed by the entire catalog of Dashboard Confessional. There's no better feeling than sitting on your living room floor, unshaven and un-showered for days - filling your empty bottle of Ketel One with your own tears of regret. Watching High Fidelity and Swingers for hours upon lonely hours. Losing it all. Faith. Self Dignity. About fifteen pounds. (Side note, if swimsuit season is right around the corner, and you want to tighten up that core - go ahead and breakup with your girlfriend, you'll have six pack abs before you know it) I suppose you could make the argument that if you're the one instigating the break up it won't have the same effect. Sabotaging relationships, that's the way to go. I'm a little upset that I'm not in a position to be dumped right now. Depressing music never sounds better than when you're truly depressed. But enough about me, have a listen:
Dr. Phil Collins

Original story at Public Radio International.