16 September 2010
"In a lot of ways, YES, I do love him. But that is not a love letter in the way that you're thinking of it. Ok? There's nothing sexual."
The return of it's Always Sunny. Far and away the best show on television. In honor of the show's triumphant return, I'll be writing letters to my top five man crushes.
#5 - George Clooney
This was the toughest one for me to decide on. It was a toss up between Clooney and The Stath. Clearly there is the fact that I wish I was British, however, Clooney's full head of hair beats Statham's baldness ten times out of ten. No matter how many times he rolls around shirtless in motor oil, one simple fact always prevails: hair > no hair. And I suppose you can't have an argument and say that George Clooney is more attractive than most women and not include him in my list of man crushes.
#4 - Tom Brady
Long before he was TB12 - crashing his Audi where ever he damn well pleased, breaking up with 10's to date 12's, and even captain of your Midland Barnburners, he was the dreamiest dreamboat to ever take the field in Ann Arbor.
#3 - José Mourinho
The Special One, so special I'm willing to overlook the fact that he's coaching Real Madrid. If he ever opts to coach Man U, he will no longer be appearing in this list.
#2 - John Cusack
The original Rob Gordon. Although, he does every man who is not him a giant disservice making movies like Say Anything, and Serendipity, giving women the unrealistic expectation that Lloyd Dobler and Jonathan Trager type men actually exist in real life. How are we supposed to get laid when he's out there making these movies?
#1 - Morrissey
(was there any doubt)